Thursday, June 5, 2008

Non-Visual Guide: Slave Positions & Commands

This is a basic outline and documentation of the slave positions. However a valued kajira will personalize them without corrupting the position. It is easier to describe something you have experienced, so perhaps you should attempt these positions offline (yes, I mean to physically do them). Remain motionless in them for a few moments — see how it feels, remember the sensations — then convey them in your service. As you learn new positions, learn them not only in their own right but also how to move swiftly and pleasingly from one position to another.
"A Gorean slave girl in the presence of a free man or woman always kneels, unless excused from doing so." (Captive of Gor, page 73) so kneeling as a house slave or in nadu as a pleasure slave is the first position a slave often learns.

If you are new, it is suggested that you start your study with these positions: kneel as tower/house slave, nadu, bara, sula, lesha, leading, and heel. Bara is a position used commonly for binding a slave and Sula for displaying or inspecting a slave. Lesha, Leading, and Heel are commands associated with traveling with a slave.

If you are using our training program, the second position set includes: bracelets, kneel to be coffled, capture, hair, high harness, slave lips, and belly. Bracelets and kneel to be coffled fall under the heading of additional bound traveling positions. Capture provides a means of inspecting or using a slave. Hair is useful for cutting the girl's hair or using her hair as a napkin. High harness shows off the slave's collar or is useful for attaching a leash if the full formality of lesha is not sought. Slave lips beautifully silence a slave and prepare her for a Master's attention. Belly is a position which is useful for pleading or squirming locomotion. Basically the second week prepares a slave for broader experiences.

Our training program's third week focuses on preparing the low slave for increased contact with free Goreans. The focus now turns to crawling on all fours and knee-crawling, various forms of obeisance and the use of tile position, display position, slave-run, standing as a slave and standing for the slavers' caress. By this third week the slave's beauty is manifesting itself more fully and her motions and stances show it.

The fourth set of positions are more blatantly sexual in nature. The slave is also trained more fully in her status as a wild animal. The slave now learns the Gorean love bow or bow of her beauty, serves a few days in the modality of the she-quadruped, learns how to prove she is unarmed, kolar position, the posture of female submission, standing whipping position and kneeling to the whip. The slave will also learn the common usage position and begin to hear the command to nestle.

In addition to these postures, slaves need to learn Gorean symbolism and silent signals, of such things as being a blanketted slave. Issues important to silent communication are discussed here. Also some commands were created in Gor's online history; these positions are commonly called Karta, Suga, Sula-Ki, Serar, and Table. They are listed separately at the bottom as they are not in the books, but it may benefit you to be aware of them.
1. Kneel as a House Slave / Tower Position
*** Those that serve in a non-sexual way (i.e. house slaves or white-silks or women's serving slaves) kneel at rest & serve this way. Renegades of Gor (page 69) also mentions it being used by Free Women that are in temporary service to repay a debt.
''She knelt back on her heels, her back straight, her head up, her hands on her thighs. She knelt in the position of the house slave.'' (Fighting Slave of Gor, page 346)

''The position of the Tower Slave, in which Vika knelt, differs from that of a free woman only in the position of the wrists which are held before her and, when not occupied, crossed as though for binding'' (Priest-Kings of Gor, page 46)
2. Kneel as a Pleasure Slave / Nadu
*** This position may be ordered by verbal command or silent gesture and is used by pleasure slaves — the slaves who are available sexually and are ''of interest to men" — when at rest or while serving. Some variation exists as in Thentis local custom is to cross hands behind them. (Priest-Kings of Gor, page 46)
"'Come now, my pretty slaves,' said Ginger, 'kneel straight. Back straight, heads up. Back on your heels there! Spread those pretty knees. Yes, that is the way men like it. Put your hands, palms down, on your thighs. Good, good. Excellent!" (Savages of Gor, page 155)

"He suddenly snapped his fingers and, in the swift double gesture of a Gorean Master, pointed to a place on the dirt floor before him, almost simultaneously turning his hand, spreading his first and index finger, pointing downwards. I fled to him and knelt before him, my knees in the dirt, in the position of the pleasure slave." (Captive of Gor, page 143)
3. Kajira, nadu — beg use!
*** When a slave is in nadu and feels their belly-fire burning strongly, their palms may turn upward. Usually this is a subconscious move, but sometimes done to purposefully and silently beg usage, showing her slave-needs are upon her.
"I noted that the palm of her hands, so soft, so vulnerable, had turned on her thighs, so that they faced up. Among slave girls this is a common ways of signaling need, helplessness, a desire to please." (Vagabonds of Gor, page 209)
4. Kajira, bara!
*** Bara, referred to as the "standard binding position" (Slave Girl of Gor, page 125), is also sometimes used for punishment.
"'Bara, Kajira!' he said. She rolled quickly to her stomach, placing her wrists behind her, crossed, and crossing her ankles, ready to be bound." (Explorers of Gor, page 77)
5. Kajira, sula!
*** Sula is a position often used to put a slave at the mercy of a Master's intimate inspection or to enhance the slave's sense of vulnerability while she is displayed.
"'Sula, Kajira!' said the man. She slid her legs from under her and lay on her back, her hands at her sides, palms up, legs open." (Explorers of Gor, page 77)
6. Kajira, lesha!
*** A slave being prepared to travel would often hear the command lesha, existing to ease the application of a slave leash to her collar and to back-bracelet her.
"'Lesha,' snapped the second officer to the blond girl. She spun from facing him, and lifted her chin, turning her head to the left, placing her wrists behind her, as though for snapping them into slave bracelets." (Explorers of Gor, page 76)
7. Kajira, leading!
*** Leading position may be ordered with words or with a gesture: ''I held my left hand open, at my waist... I opened and closed my left hand once.'' (Beasts of Gor, page 409)
"'Leading position,' he said. Sobbing, she rose to her feet, and put her head down, at what would be the height of a man's waist, her legs flexed. A guard walked over and fastened his hand in her hair." (Rogue of Gor, page 288)
"Her Master seized her from the circle then and hurried her from the light, her head down, held by the hair, at his left hip. This is a common leading position for female slaves being conducted short distances." (Magicians of Gor, page 46)
8. Kajira, heel.
If the Master/Mistress is right-handed the slave goes to His/Her left, or vice versa. The slave should commonly be about one and a half paces behind the Free Person, following His/Her movements from that point. (Vagabonds of Gor, page 381) "These things vary, I learned from city to city, and depend, also, on such matters as context and conditions. In a market, in the crowding and jostling for instance, a girl may follow so closely she pressed against the back of his left shoulder. Girls seldom follow behind and on the right. If she is thusly placed it is commonly a sign she is in disfavor. If more than one girl is involved, she who follows most closely on the left is generally taken to be in highest favor; girls compete for this position. In an open area, such a the fields in which we trekked, the girl is placed some five or ten feet behind, and on the left. If he must move suddenly she will not, thusly, constitute an impediment to his action." (Slave Girl of Gor, page 30)
9. Kajira, bracelets!
*** Slave bracelets, often decorative as well as functional, normally have three chain links between the wrist shackles, and when ordered to this position it is obvious what will be done with the slave. This position is also sometimes referred to as Chaining Position.
"'Bracelets,' he snapped. She put her head in the air and placed her hands behind her back. Marlenus locked bracelets on her. They were slave bracelets. 'Have you no heavier chains?' she asked... 'They are slave bracelets,' said Marlenus. 'They are quite adequate to hold a woman.'" (Hunters of Gor, page 146)
10. Kajira, left wrist coffle!
*** Coffles may be neck-coffles, wrist-coffles, or ankle-coffles; sets of girls are chained together by the same appendage throughout. The slave kneels with thighs parted, up upon the heels and lifts the appropriate limb based on the type of shackle attaching each slave to the main chain.
"'Kneel to be coffled,' said one of the men. The girls knelt, closely, one behind the other... 'Left wrist coffle,' he said. They lifted their left wrists, frightened. Interestingly, the man snapping the wrist rings on the girls' left wrists did not put the first girl in the first ring, but on the second. When the four maids were coffled, there was, thus, an empty wrist ring both at the head and the rear of the line. 'Stand, Slaves,' said the man. 'Lower chain.' The girls stood. Then, ordered, they lowered their wrists. They were then in line, standing, coffled." (Slave of Gor, page 127)
11. Kajira, left ankle coffle!
*** Coffles may be neck-coffles, wrist-coffles, or ankle-coffles; sets of girls are chained together by the same appendage throughout. A slave should kneel, then offer the appropriate limb based on the type of shackle attaching each slave to the main chain.
"'Kneel to be coffled,' said one of the men. The girls knelt, closely, one behind the other... 'Left wrist coffle,' he said. They lifted their left wrists, frightened. Interestingly, the man snapping the wrist rings on the girls' left wrists did not put the first girl in the first ring, but on the second. When the four maids were coffled, there was, thus, an empty wrist ring both at the head and the rear of the line. 'Stand, Slaves,' said the man. 'Lower chain.' The girls stood. Then, ordered, they lowered their wrists. They were then in line, standing, coffled." (Slave of Gor, page 127)
12. Kajira, capture position!
*** The capture position seems likely to have been used for a non-intimate inspection of a freshly captured slave -- perhaps ensuring she held no poison pins or such things which free woman sometimes used in a futile attempt to defend their freedom.
"'On your back,' he said, 'knees raised, heels on the floor.' I then lay before him, in a standard, supine capture position." (Kajira of Gor, page 422)
13. Kajira, hair!
*** When hearing this command the slave hopes her hair is not to be sheared to make ropes or cleaning pads or dusters or even insect whisks. After all, not only is she likely vain, but her hair is useful to her also as a tool for cleaning floors and such where she will soap and rinse her hair many times.
"hears the command, 'Hair,' she knows she is to go to the guest and kneel, and lower her head, that her hair may be used as a napkin or wiping cloth" (Kajira of Gor, page 68)
14. Kajira, high harness!
*** High harness is a useful position for reading a slave's collar or making a slave feel vulnerable by losing reducing a slave's vision of what is near her body.
"'Lift your head,' he said. 'Higher. Higher!' She looked up at him, her head far back, the leash on her throat... 'You need not now keep your head in high-harness position,' he said to the girl." (Mercenaries of Gor, pages 308-309)
15. Kajira, slave lips!
The slave turns toward the person who commanded it, purses lips and remains immobile until freed with the kiss of a Master.
"A girl who is commanded to make slave lips, or who receives the command, 'Slave lips,' must form her mouth for kissing. She then, commonly, is not permitted to break this lip position until either she kisses or is kissed. Needless to say, a girl cannot speak when her lips are in the unbroken, fully-pursed slave-lips position. The command which commonly follows the 'Slave-lips' command is, 'Please me.'" (Blood Brothers of Gor, pages 111)
16. Kajira, belly!
*** Belly is a position used to show deep submission and pleading (Savages of Gor, page 75). Many Masters find this a pleasing position for a slave and it is also a means of approaching the Master when performing obeisance.
"'To your belly.' Then I was on my belly, on the tiles, my hands at the sides of my head, prone, before his curule chair... I lifted my head and upper body, wildly, agonized, to regard him. 'You are a hot slave,' he said. I regarded him wildly, pathetically, unbelievingly, speechlessly." (Kajira of Gor, page 427)

"'Belly,' he said. She slipped to her belly on the deck, her hands up, beneath her shoulders. She lifted herself a little from the deck, lifting her head, still half concealed in hood, to Calliodorus and Aemilianus. Her lips were lovely, and trembling." (Renegades of Gor, page 355)
17. Kajira, crawl!
*** The slave gets down on all fours, and crawls to kiss the free person's feet. The more wanton a slave is the more likely she is squirming upon her belly and begging his touch while a new slave will often be up on hands and knees (Tribesman of Gor, page 78).
18. Kajira, knee-crawl!
This locomotion varies from the standard crawl in that a slave is not down on all fours but only down upon her knees, it is said to be slightly reminiscient of the dancer's movement of "Turian Knee Walk." (Magicians of Gor, page 342)
19. Kajira, tile position!
*** This position is used as a formal obeisance such as when free persons pass by or when a low slave seeks to speak with a free person. By comparison, high slaves or pleasure slaves might simply nadu until the free person passes.
"As we approached, she oriented herself towards us, palms of her hands on the floor, and put her head to the tiles. But, as we neared her, she lifted her head, desperately... You lifted your head from the tile position before free persons had passed you... She had not been pleasing. She was a slave. Of course she was being punished." (Kajira of Gor, page 145-146)

"I knelt before the guest, putting the palms of my hands on the floor and my head to the tiles. I then lifted my head, keeping the palms of my hands on the floor. 'Did Master indicate an interest in Tiffany?' I asked." (Kajira of Gor, page 305)
20. Kajira, obeisance!
"Swiftly we assumed a common form of slave obeisance, kneeling, the palms of our hands on the ground, our heads to the ground. Many masters, though it tends to be rather associated usually with given cities, require this position of their girls, usually when they first enter his presence or find themselves, as in a room which he has entered, in his presence." (Dancer of Gor, page 114)

"Quickly I fell to my knees before Hendow, he in the great chair on the dais, and put my head to the carpet, the palms of my hands, too, on the carpet, beside my head, performing slave obeisance." (Dancer of Gor, page 165)
Some say obeisance may also be as performed as simply as deferentially bowing her head while kneeling in nadu (remember that in nadu typically one keeps her chin level). A more detailed method is for the slave to belly to the free person's feet, lift a foot upon her neck, then kiss it after returning it before her and belly back slightly from his position. (Mercenaries of Gor, p. 409)

This posture may also be ordered with a gesture, merely by pointing to the ground.
"I pointed to the sand before me.

She immediately, frightened, dropped to her knees and again put her head down to the sand, the palms of her hands, too, on the sand.

It is pleasant to have a woman perform obeisance before one. It is also appropriate. In such a way, in such symbolisms, may the order of nature, and its profound truths, in a conventional and civilized manner, be expressed and acknowledged.

To be sure, this gesture had not been performed voluntarily by the woman at this time, in a typical reverence for the male, for nature, and for herself, and her meaning, but had been commanded by me. Also, I had not commanded this gesture merely for my own pleasure, to see the beauty before me, so marvelously, so rightly, but I had commanded it of her for her own good, that she might clearly understand the nature of our relationship, that she would understand herself, in the deepest part of her belly, as being submitted. Indeed, I had required it of her categorically, unquestioningly, as a master might require it of a slave." (Vagabonds of Gor)
21. Kajira, display!
*** Often a part of exhibiting a slave for sale, but also used to showcase an owner's pride in their slave.
"He merely took her arms and lifted them, so that the position chain, attached to each side of the sales collar lay across her upper arms. Then he had her clasp her hands behind the back of her neck, so that the chain, on each side of the collar, was in the crook of her arms, and she was exposed in such a way that she could be properly exhibited." (Explorers of Gor, page 36)
22. Kajira, run!
*** An awkward form of locomotion thought to be pleasing by some men. While "harta" means only to "hurry," run is a specific form of motion.
"she had run as a slave girl is sometimes taught to run, with rapid short steps, her legs almost straight, her feet scarcely leaving the ground, back straight, head turned to the left, arms at her sides, palms out at a forty-five degree angle" (Assassin of Gor, page 45)
23. Kajira, stand!
*** Some positions have no obvious purpose other than well displaying a slave -- but, to the free persons' eyes, that is enough purpose.
"'Stand as a slave,' he said. I stood beautifully, back straight, head high, belly sucked in, hip turned. No woman can stand more beautifully than as a gorean slave girl. 'Excellant,' said Ladletender." (Slave Girl of Gor, page 249)
24. Kajira, stand for the slavers' caress!
Slavers' Caress is a move meant to show how responsive a slave girl is and how hot her need runs. Preferably by surprise her body is subject to the caress of the whip pressing to her heat and her slave-need made manifest. Often the girl will have her hands clasped tightly behind the back of her neck and may also be gagged with her hair. (Nomads of Gor, page 168-169; Explorers of Gor, page 40)
"'Stand,' I told her. 'Back straight, belly in, breasts out. Lift your hands to your shoulders, flex your knees.' ... I touched her here and there, with the whip, deftly" (Players of Gor, page 25)
25. Kajira, love bow!
*** A posture few slaves can attain without assistance and much stretching and training, this pose does definitely expose a slave sexually and muchly display ''the bow of her beauty.''
"He thrust her two wrists, before her body, into the ring... He then tied them inside, and to, the ring. He then, from his belt, took a long length of binding fiber and, doubling it, looped it, securing it, at its center to the ring, leaving two long ends. He then threw her, on her back, over the body, head down...

He took the two loose ends of the binding fiber and, taking them under the body... dragged her wrists, elbows bent, over and above her head; he then, bending her knees, tied one of the loose ends about her left ankle, and the other about her right. It was the Gorean love bow." (Marauders of Gor, page 261)
26. Kajira, assume the modality of the she-quadruped!
A slave may be made to suffer the modality of the she-quadruped to learn she is naught but a beast or the discipline of the she-quadruped may be used as a punishment. This is a complex order as more than one posture or response is expected with such an order. The slave is forbidden to rise to her feet or move in a bipedal manner. The slave may not use her hands to grasp things. The slave is also forbidden human speech and may only grunt or whimper to communicate.
"'Girl,' I said to her. She, addressed, scrambled to her knees. She kept her head down. She whimpered. 'She does not speak,' said Boabissia. 'She is perhaps under the discipline of the she-quadruped,' I said. The girl whimpered, looking at us, nodding her head affirmatively. Then she put down her head, again. 'Oh,' said Boabissia. In this discipline the female is forbidden human speech. She is also forbidden human posture, in the sense that she is not allowed to rise to her feet. Her locomotion, unless commanded to roll, or put under similar commands, suitable for a pet, will be on all fours. Her food will be thrown to her, or put in pans on the ground. In either case, she must feed without the use of her hands. She may also, of course, be fed by hand, but, again, will not be permitted to touch the food with her hands. She may be taught tricks. Sometimes these are taught as functions of arbitrary sounds, so that she must learn them as any animal might, without the benefit of an earlier understanding of the words used. If she is slow to learn, of course, she is punished, as would be any other animal. When used, too, it will commonly be in the modality of the she-quadruped. This discipline is often used as a punishment, but it may also figure in the training of a new girl. It helps her to understand what she now is, an animal totally subject to her master." (Mercenaries of Gor, pages 215-216)
A slave subjected to this form will soon become creative in their expression and express their longing to serve in the more full sense of slavery as the human animal she is rather than as a simple beast.
"After some time, sometimes as little as a few Ahn, in this discipline, she begs mutely, pleadingly, as eloquently as she can, to be permitted to serve her master in fashions more typical of the normal female slave, fashions in which her bondage, because of the greater complexities and latitudes of speech and posture, for example, dance, beginning at least on her feet, and song, may be even more deliciously complete and pleasing to him. To make certain that there are no possible confusions or misunderstandings involved in such cases the master usually gives the female a brief opportunity to speak, usually only a few Ihn, in which she must make her pleas, hoping to win his favor. If he is not satisfied with her pleas, of course, she is returned promptly to the former discipline. Too, for wasting his time, she might be exposed to other disciplines, as well, usually the lash." (Mercenaries of Gor, page 215-216)
27. Kajira, prove harmless!
*** "This is a simple Gorean procedure, not uncommon, for determining that a girl encountered in the darkness is both helpless and unarmed." (Guardsman of Gor, chapter 9)
"'Cross your wrists,' I told her, 'palms facing one another, and touch your fingers to my ankle.' She did this, lying on her stomach. With her hands in this position, a girl can exert almost no leverage, and it may be determined, too, that her hands are empty." (Guardsman of Gor, chapter 9)
28. Kajira, ko-lar!
*** The first step in the common collaring rirtual of acquiring a slave. Often used in combination with the position of female submission, described here as preceding it:
"Three things will now be done to you, matter of factly, and in order,' he said. I looked at him, puzzled. 'Down on all fours,' he said, 'and crawl here, head down, to the foot of the chair.' I did so and there, unceremoniously, he crouching down, behind me and to my left, I was collared. He was not gentle with me." (Kajira of Gor, pages 432-433)
For the curious, the 2nd and 3rd things from this quote were binding her wrists in the posture of female submission and whipping her (described in the next two positions to learn).
29. Kajira, assume the posture of female submission!
*** A step in the common collaring rirtual of acquiring a slave. In some cities submission precedes the placing of the collar and in other cities submission follows the collar.
"'Kneel back on your heels,' he said, 'and extend your arms, wrists crossed.' I looked at him, starled, protestingly, as my wrists, with one end of a long leather strap, were lashed together." (Kajira of Gor, page 432)

"'Submit,' I told her. She knelt before me, back on her heels, arms extended, head down, between her arms, wrists crossed, as though for binding. 'I submit myself to you, Master,' she said." (Explorers of Gor, page 74)
30. Kajira, whipping position!
*** Used for punishment, for the owner's pleasure, or for the introduction of a slave new to the house.
"'Stand up,' he said. I was pulled to a position at the side of the room. The long end of the strap was tossed up, through a ring fixed in a beam, and then put through another ring. Drusus Rencius then drew on the strap and my bound wrists were drawn up, above my head.

He then looped and knotted the long end of the strap about a hook, on the side. I then stood there, at the side of the room, naked, in the collar, my hands bound together, held over my head... This was clearly a whipping position." (Kajira of Gor, pages 432-433)
31. Kajira, kneel to the whip!
*** Kneeling to the whip is a posture to prepare for punishment. It also may be assumed by a slave girl as part of begging forgiveness. If you are bringing the whip to your owner before assuming the position, be sure to carry it in your mouth not hand!
"I went to Targo, trembling, and knelt at his feet... I crossed my wrists beneath me and touched my head to the floor, exposing the bow of my back. It is the submissive posture of a slave girl who is to be punished. It is called Kneeling to the Whip." (Captive of Gor, page 200)
32. Kajira, usage position!
*** There are several common positions of slave usage; a Master uses this class of positions when reminding the girl that she is merely a slave. The majority of the time, a girl is ordered to her back or her belly, oftentimes laying over bag or saddle. (see Explorers of Gor, page 202 & Savages of Gor, page 170-171)
"He knelt me there. 'Put your head down, to the floor,' he said. 'Clasp your hands, firmly, behind the back of your neck.' 'Yes, Master,' I moaned. He was then behind me. He put his hands under my arms, on my breasts, sweetly and firmly. Then he moved his hands back, caressing my flanks." (Kajira of Gor, page 434)

"'Turn about,' he said. 'Kneel down. Put your head to the ground, clasp your hands together, behind the back of your neck.' 'Yes, Master!' I wept. I hastened to obey. This is a common position for slave rape." (Dancer of Gor, page 459)
33. Kajira, nestle!
The slave fits herself against the Master/Mistress's side, snuggling in to the crook of his left arm. (Explorers of Gor, page 279)
34. Blanketting a kajira.
This is one of the silent commands. If something is thrown over a slave's head, she must remain silent and motionless until freed from it. "When a blanket, or cloak, or covering of any sort, is thrown over a slave like this she may not speak or rise. She must remain as she is, silent, until the master, or some free man, lifts the covering away." (Explorers of Gor, page 94)
35. Kajira, walk as a slave!
I have yet to find a description from the books that defines a slave girl's walk (although several passages make plain that a trained pleasure slave does have a different walk than a free woman), but I was taught that the girl will sway her hips seductively while her feet barely rise off the floor. She stands tall before her destination with her head up and her eyes lowered, turns her hip out a bit and points one foot with her hands at her sides.
"As Kamchak and I walked to his wagon, I saw several girls, here and there, clad Kajir; they were magnificent; they walked with the true brazen insolence of the slave girl, the wench who knows that she is owned, whom men have found beautiful enough, and exciting enough, to collar." (Nomads of Gor, chapter 5)

There are also some positions which have become standardized only in Gor's online reality. These are listed below for your reference, but remember, they do not originate from the Gor of the books.
Karta. Basically, this seems to be an online misnomer to a particular type of obeisance wherein the slave kneels with knees spread then bows forward until her forehead touches the ground, her palms down near her head.
Serar. The slave drapes her body over the legs of her seated Master with her hands and feet reaching for the floor and raising her posterior in the air.
Suga. Essentially this is the same as Karta, but with wrists crossed. She kneels, thighs wide, lays forward breasts & forehead touching the floor, extending her arms forward and crossing her wrists.
Sula-Ki. After assuming the Sula position, she will lift her hips up from the floor, encouraging the Master to use her sexually. (Explorers of Gor, page 329 appears to describe the position, yet it is from an earth-girl's dream, not from Gorean training.)
Table. Used to offer Master a footstool or table for feet, books, drink, etc. Locking elbows while on all fours with her back level.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

slave poetry

i sit in corner waiting for master to call,
he is only one to who I listen,
he is the healer,
he is the one I am most proud of,
he calls
I come offering him my head ,
he calls out in command,
I am his and he knows this,
never questioning, never wanting for what is to want for when all is taken care,
my body speaks to him he knows,
a word I never need to speak again,for he know me as he knows him self,
by way of this power I am free,
free to love and be loved,to feel pain then pleasure,
to hope and dream and make them come true,

another one


the pain is gone,I need not fear,I need not hurt,
I need only listen and I am safe,to ask and question is not needed,
I know where I stand, I know where I belong,
I am like that of a harp used of ones own pleasure and that of it's beauty silent till played and has a place in every room

darkest greetings

my pain is my pleasure,

my wings are broken to dust,

my pain is only keeping me going.

I'm braking the mirror that holds image of my old self,

what is there in world but hate what is in the world,

but pain,

needing to be loved wanting to be hurt,

taking my hate and pain turning it into pure pleasure,